| Rank | Team | Reason |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Auburn | Should be unanimous |
| 2 | Duke | They just keep winning |
| 3 | Iowa State | Above Bama bc a loss @ WVU is better than a loss at home against Ole Miss |
| 4 | Houston | My only team from 3-14 last week that didn't lose a game |
| 5 | Alabama | I want everyone to go take a look at Alabama's last 7 games of the season |
| 6 | Tennessee | You cannot go into Vandy and expect to escape the baseline benches |
| 7 | Kansas | Up 2 spots bc everyone else lost and their loss wasn't awful |
| 8 | Kentucky | See: Kansas |
| 9 | Florida | No idea how you beat Tennessee by 30 then lose to Missouri a week later |
| 10 | Michigan State | Major jump bc they went 2-0 in a week where that was extremely rare |
| 11 | Purdue | See: Michigan State |
| 12 | Marquette | I truly have no idea what this team is |
| 13 | Mississippi State | So I'm going to start having no notes. Throw teams 13-20 into a hat and you might as well rank them at random |
| 14 | Texas A&M | |
| 15 | Illinois | |
| 16 | Oregon | |
| 17 | Wisconsin | |
| 18 | Ole Miss | |
| 19 | UConn | |
| 20 | Michigan | |
| 21 | Missouri | The sport is in a better place when Missouri is good |
| 22 | St. John's | BRING BACK THE WHITE SUIT RICK |
| 23 | Utah State | Even with a loss, they get the bump on the fact that only 1 team in the country has less losses than them |
| 24 | West Virginia | Shoutout John Denver aka Henry John Deutschendorf Jr. |
| 25 | Vanderbilt | Does this prove that Stackhouse wasn't bad, just early |
HM: Gonzaga, Baylor, Texas Tech, Georgia, Louisville