| Rank | Team | Reason |
|---|
| 1 |   Houston | Welcome back fools |
| 2 |  Alabama | This one’s for Willie! |
| 3 |  Purdue | You’re lucky last weeks #4-6 ate a dick |
| 4 |  UCLA | Might be good still |
| 5 |  Kansas | Might be good still |
| 6 |  Texas | Might be good still |
| 7 |  Virginia | YOU DONT DESERVE TO BE HERE! |
| 8 |  Baylor | Could beat anyone on any day and lose to anyone on any day |
| 9 |  Marquette | Hang in there, you’re doing fine |
| 10 |  Arizona | FRAUDS! |
| 11 |  Tennessee | FRAUDS! |
| 12 |  Creighton | BACK! |
| 13 |  Indiana | *sigh* back |
| 14 |  Gonzaga | Get ready to get bounced in round of 32 |
| 15 |  Kansas State | Market pullback |
| 16 |  Saint Mary's | Wouldn’t want to play them still |
| 17 |  Miami (FL) | might be good unfortunately |
| 18 |  Xavier | F*ck around and find out |
| 19 |  UConn | Can hang with anyone |
| 20 |  Northwestern | Welcome to the show boys |
| 21 |  Oklahoma State | Welcome to the show boys |
| 22 |  San Diego State | Welcome to the show boys (i still think you’re frauds) |
| 23 |  Iowa State | Almost dead |
| 24 |  Iowa | Kris Murray is so good Iowa has to be here |
| 25 |  Pitt | You’re welcome PITT!!!! You’re welcome!!!! |
