| Rank | Team | Reason |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Duke | Boozer Bros...prepare for battle in the East! |
| 2 | Arizona | Much like Duke...their region is no cakewalk either...bear down... |
| 3 | Michigan | Time to get up, dust(y may) yourself off, and get back to work! |
| 4 | Houston | SHOULD they get the #1 over Florida? Eh...maybe, maybe not. But are they playing MORE as a #1 seed? To that...yes, undoubtedly |
| 5 | Florida | But still, never count out them 'gators...unless something wacky happens, idk |
| 6 | Iowa State | Big (XII) if True! The Polo-wearing Cyclones are back in the Tournament - and in a gauntlet too! |
| 7 | UConn | UConn is looking surprisingly vulnerable. This either means an early exit - or a deep (minimum F4) run, no in-between! |
| 8 | Virginia | More of a momentum pick (i.e. boost by virtue of winning more)...but hey, give credit where it's due... |
| 9 | Gonzaga | Zagaronis exiting the WCC on a high note! And now, to end THIS season on a high note...maybe... |
| 10 | St. John's | 卫冕冠军 St. John's Red Storm 那条狗又一次被打败了。Praise Chairman Slick Rick! 但没有尊重 Committee a dumb! |
| 11 | Purdue | Ughhhhh...FINE...good job locking in for the B1G Tournament, Purdue... |
| 12 | Michigan State | Will the third month of the calendar STILL be under the title of East Lansing's HC? |
| 13 | Arkansas | Woof, Pig...Sooie...now, time to avoid becoming kalua pork! |
| 14 | Illinois | fuck...but fine, maybe it'll go better than 2025. It should anyway! But FUCK...does it have to be another underseeded dark horse upset pick? |
| 15 | Kansas | Jayhawk fans seem like they're sort of throwing in the towel for this season - and I CAN see why (even though, in spite of ALL my distaste of chalking rock, it still feels TOO early to write them off) |
| 16 | Vanderbilt | Woof, did the Vandy men stole all the energy from the women's team, a la Monstars style? Because these past two weeks def feels like that lol |
| 17 | Nebraska | Well...at least the Huskers seem poised to FINALLY get that March Madness win? |
| 18 | Wisconsin | Oh Wisconsin...how often you punish me for not believing in you...and then also punish me when I DO decide to believe in you... |
| 19 | North Carolina | At least they DESERVE to be in this time. Will they make anything out of it? Eh...I'd like to say no, but I worry of tempting fate here... |
| 20 | Santa Clara | Too high? Eh...yes. But doth I care? NO! LET'S KICK SOME BLUEGRASS ASS, BRONCOS!!! |
| 21 | Saint Mary's | Not an easy region - or even section! - for the Gaels...at least they should have more chances to qualify in the future, no matter what happens... |
| 22 | Texas Tech | Obviously, no Toppin means effectively no chance for the Red Raiders this Tournament...but perhaps they still got enough tortillas in the factory to NOT go one-and-done? |
| 23 | VCU | More mid-major spoiling - oh VCU, forgive me for not having enough confidence in your team! Well, except for the time I DID put them as my Bracket Challenge champ...but still, point stands. Go win!! |
| 24 | Utah State | Ditto for Utah State...I tend to be too stubborn to realize how good a team might still be...which meant that I was blind to the Logan light... |
| 25 | Miami (OH) | Yes, had they lost to UMass like that in the regular season, I would've likely removed them from the Top 25 entirely! But oh well...we shan't let that cloud how they had an UNDEFEATED regular season! |
Every five teams make up a single tier, for a total of five tiers overall. Also, I decided to be lazy/shameless and sort of rearrange teams more akin to what their seedline (and overall seed) would be - although I deviate a bit beyond that, too.